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October 09, 2006
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.
1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
2. Sadam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when cheny did business with him and a bad guy when bush needed a bin laden look alike to bomb.
3. A woman can not be trusted to make decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
4. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veteran's benefits and combat pay.
5. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
6. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
7. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
8. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which includes torture of enemy combatants, secret prisons inside and outside of US borders, banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
| By jjtechno | 06:52 PM
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